How Not to Have a Long-Distance Relationship

Following my previous blog post about how to maintain a long-distance friendship, I thought it would be appropriate to write a post about long-distance relationships.

Unfortunately, I guess it’s fair to say I don’t have much advice to give on a successful LDR as mine lasted just about a month.

I can, however, write about the sort of thing that you shouldn’t do.

Probably the most important thing to remember is that a relationship works both ways and this means that both people involved in the relationship need to be putting in effort. You cannot carry the relationship by yourself.

If your partner does not want to be in a long distance relationship, you cannot force them. If they are struggling and decide that it would be easier to quit than find methods to make coping easier, no amount of phone calls, reassuring messages and cute love letters can change their mind. When a person decides they don’t want to try, they can’t be changed.

No relationship is worth changing your life plans for. If you’ve always wanted to live in a different country or if you want to follow  your dream job many miles away you have to take that opportunity. Trust that if your partner is ‘the one’ (if you believe in that sort of stuff) then you will be able to work something out.

Trust is essential, but it may be broken. It is your choice on whether or not to continue a relationship with broken trust (after all you can build it back up) but try not to kick yourself later on if that decision turns out to be a mistake.

I’m not entirely sure where this blog post is going, as originally it was fuelled by a bitter attitude towards a failed long distance relationship with a boy who had no hope for being in an LDR. However, it’s been a little while and bitter attitudes fade away, so now it’s just a kind of pessimistic view on long distance relationships.

I guess I should end on a positive note by saying that long distance relationships can work (after all if a friendship can work, I don’t see why a relationship wouldn’t).

But as always, certainly at my tender young age, I believe that when a relationship brings more pain than joy, it’s really not worth continuing.

One response to “How Not to Have a Long-Distance Relationship”

  1. I liked the way this post meandered … I'm curious which bits were lessons from your experience and which are learnt from others you've been around or talked about. (Loss / abuse of trust, becoming jaded by the notion of \”the one\”).Liked the honesty of not knowing where the post was going!


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