Reasons I Don’t Give Advice

Anyone who has ever made the unfortunate mistake of asking me for advice (you know who you are) will now know that it is better by far to take the advice of others regarding my advice. This advice is:

“If Ellie offers you advice, you’re best off doing the opposite of whatever she says.”

This is a slight hyperbole however it does stem from some factual tales, most notably the one piece of advice I gave that was so tragically wrong, the advice receiver would have benefited from literally doing the exact opposite of what I said.

This forms the main reason that I avoid giving advice, however it is not the only reason.

Reason No. 1
 Have you seen the state of my life?
I mean, while this reason isn’t a constant reason, (sometimes my life does reach a point in time where I am fairly organised and not a hot mess) it is a pretty damn good reason.
Like, yesterday I bought a cuddly toy alpaca and had to inform the shop assistant that it was not a gift and I did not need it gift wrapped, however much she insisted.
I’m just saying, at 18 years of age, I am by far the least put together person I know and therefore not the best advice-giving candidate.

Reason No. 2
I can’t make any form of decision.
Truly embracing the stereotype of a Libra, I’m indecisive as heck. Like I can’t make decisions for myself, please don’t ask me to help you make a decision. If anything, we’ll both end up more stressed and confused.

Reason No. 3
I do not want to be responsible.
I try to keep my responsibilities to a minimum, that way, if something goes wrong I can’t be held accountable. If you ask me advice and I give you bad advice (which is incredibly likely) I don’t want you to blame me for the mess your life has inevitably become.

But anyway, I know you all are mostly interested in the one piece of advice I once gave that has held me back from giving advice ever since it happened.

So let’s hop back a couple of years, to when a friend of mine asked me advice regarding a boy (being a teenage girl, this is the main area that we all ask advice about, so what can you expect really?). She really liked him but we were all close friends and telling him risked the friendship.

“What should I do Ellie?” She asked me.

I thought about it. He was a reasonable person, he’d probably be happy to know even if he didn’t share her feelings. Could it really affect a friendship so much? Also as I was dating another guy in our friendship group, this could give us the opportunity to double date.

“Tell him.” I said.

Well a little while later it would become clear that this was the worst piece of advice. It turns out he did like someone, someone who had the same name as my friend at least.

But simply the whole thing just ensured a good few weeks of awkwardness.

So, yeah, I refuse to give advice because I know that it’ll be no good. As past experiences show.

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